7/14/08

Hey!!!

I hope you're all enjoying the summer. I hope you're all spending your days drunk, tan, and lazy on a beautiful beach somewhere. I hope you're spending your nights in a deep, passionate summer affair with someone special. I hope all your drinks have twisty straws and umbrellas in them. Unfortunately, if you're reading this blog it's probably because you're at work and are trying to kill time doing anything possible in order to avoid doing real work! Well, if that's the case and you'd like to kill even more time, check out the video from my spring tour opening up for Matt White. It's a fun compilation of moments from the tour down south. You can find it on my website homepage at www.byronzanos.com.
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Now, it's mid July… guess what's coming up??? Only the greatest week of the year - SHARK WEEK on the Discovery channel - it starts July 27th. As many of you know, it's my favorite TV event of the year.
 

I'd also love to let you all know that I've been playing the WAMU stage at The Jones Beach Theater in NY all summer opening for some AMAZING artists - From Eric Clapton to Stevie Wonder to John Mellencamp to James Blunt to The Police to Sheryl Crow… the list just keeps on going!!! It's been a blast! Check my schedule to see if you'd like to come out to a show (if it's not sold out) and see us… and of course the headliners:

Also, in the next few weeks they'll be shows in NY, NJ, PA, MA so check out the schedule and come on by!!! Next one up is this Tuesday in Ridgewood NJ. See you soon and thanks so much for listening guys!
-B 

6/11/08

New Video, New Songs, and New Underwear

Hello good people of cyberspace!!!  I hope this finds you all well.  I just wanted to thank you guys for the great support at all my appearances in the last month.  I got to play with some new band members and it’s been quite enjoyable!  Here’s a photo by BJ Barratt:

I have also posted a couple of videos up on youTube including a new song we’re gonna be recording soon called “Hide and Seek”.  You can find those videos on my MySpace page as well.  I’ve also posted what I hope to be the first, introductory entry of my new “Bathtub Blogs” – it’s a video blog also accessible through my MySpace page.  What will I be discussing in future bathtub blogs?  Who knows – but at least I’ll be naked.  More to come.

Now, on to some more pressing issues:

Along with rising gas prices and rising food prices, I’ve noticed a steep climb in men’s underwear prices.  I encourage you all to check this out for yourselves and write your congressman.  If 6yr old, malnourished, Chinese children are going to be making my underwear from now on, I expect it to be cheap! 

Byron’s “Best and Worst” of May/June 2008 

Favorite TV Show: Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations”

Best song on the radio: Sara Bareilles “Love Song”

Worst Song on the radio: Jordin Sparks “No Air”

Official “Strip Club” song: Finger Eleven “Paralyzer”

Best Burger: Tyler’s. Palm Springs CA

ALSO:  Below is my current schedule for the next few months – there’s stuff being added almost daily so you’ll have to keep checking to stay up to date.  There will be more booking up north at the end of July/August – I’ll be in Philly in September (been a while…) -  and I’ll be planning something down south shortly after.  Also, I’ll be spending much of my summer in the NY metro area because I’ll be performing at the Nikon Jones Beach Theater playing sidestage to acts like Sheryl Crow, The Police, and Eric Clapton.  Actually, I did the Clapton show last week – incredible!  Clapton is a god. 

So anyway, I hope to see you all in the near future – have a great summer!  Stay cool and stay naked!

-B 

Visit my MySpace page to see new Videos and Blogs:  www.myspace.com/byronzanos

Current schedule -- keep checking the Tour page for updates!

3/17/08

Waffle House, Jesus, and some Good Tunes…

I'm in a plane, 35,000 feet above ground flying from Atlanta to Newark. We've had heavy turbulence since we took off and for the first time ever I find myself reaching for the vomit bag - just in case. As the flight attendant passes, I ask her what Maverick and Goose are doing up there - referring to the pilots. She doesn't get the reference, gives me an odd smile and walks on.

This week, I've been on tour opening for 'Matt White' and 'Five Times August'. I'm performing solo but touring with Jimmy B - tour manager, accountant, auto mechanic, merchandise manager, consigliore, and all around nice guy. We've made our way through MD, VA, NC, SC, and GA playing for some really nice and attentive crowds. I like the Southeast - people are really laid back and nice here - and, of course,… there's Nascar - there's few things they are as passionate about. Nascar, Waffle House, and Jesus are among the biggest interests here - and then there's music. People have been really great at shows here.

Raleigh NC was definitely the best show on the tour as far as the size of the crowd is concerned. Matt has had some radio play in Raleigh and it's definitely brought the crowds in. We met some really great people there. I'll be editing and posting some video footage of our adventures hopefully soon. Till then,

Some Highlights:

I learned how to check for bedbugs…

Monday night - driving from Baltimore to Richmond, VA - Jimmy and I fought crime! We saw a Jeep with no lights swerving all over the road - the guy was obviously wasted. I felt a bit bad doing it but the guy was SUCH a mess on the road that we called in the Highway Patrol to pull him over. I guess it's better he spend the night in jail than kill someone.

Next Day, I'm filming strange buildings in Raleigh NC - Jimmy's driving - we get pulled over! Apparently, we were filming Government buildings and some homeland security guys just wanted to know why. It seems that it happens a lot there - an Uno's Pizzaria waitress later tells us. They were actually pretty cool though and it's nice to know that they're doing such a good job.

That night - we hang with Matt and the guys for a hotel after party and I spent the entire next day hung over and feeling stupid!

Just a couple of hours ago at the airport - some lady comes up to us - she sees us walking with guitar cases and says “WooHoo - I want to be in your band too… I can play the 'CLITAR'”, and she motions… well, you know. Yes, a bit uncouth and definately not ladylike but we found it funny anyway - crazy redneck women have no brain-mouth filters.

Also at the airport, as I passed through security they had 2 old ladies in that “glass holding room” they use when their not quite sure about you.lol. It was a bit ridiculous. Random searches are stupid - the people who will try to blow us up aren't going to be 90yr old ladies.

And the biggest highlight, of course, is that I got to play music for new people every night. It was a lot of fun - I believe I'll be hitting the same cities again within the next few months so those of you who were there - watch the schedule and I'll see you soon. Till then, if you find yourself at a Waffle House, get your potatoes “diced, smothered and covered.” Be well.
-B

2/25/08

Hey kids — just wanted to say hi and give you an update.

I played a show last night at Rockwood (NYC) — packed house. I'd like to thank those of you who attended and I hope you all made it home safely — the weather was pretty brutal out there.

I was also recently reviewed by 'Rebel Spirit' - Take a look HERE.

Finally, next month I'll be supporting Matt White on tour in MD, NC, and GA.

I'm really looking forward to joining a fellow Jersey boy on the road — by the way, like most Jersey boys we insist that once we've left NJ we leave our “Jersey boy” title back at our home state. You move 10 minutes away into NYC and all of a sudden you're no longer bridge and tunnel… ah, it's tough being from Jersey.

“The Armpit State,”as it's often called, is a huge insult. And nobody has ever given me a solid reason for such a foul title. Could it be because it actually looks like an armpit? Let's see:

Yuck — OK, I get it. However, If NJ forms that oh, so familiar shape — well, that makes PA the horrid smell emanating from the armpit. And it makes New York City that tuft of hair on your shoulder. Hmmm — Well, I hope we've all learned absolutely nothing from all this. Thank you very little. I'm going to make myself useful and go write a song now. See you soon.

-B

1/24/08

Hi y'all — yes, I said y'all. I'm down south in the Sunshine State for a few days. The weather, unfortunately, has been less than sunny. In fact, it's pretty damn close to what it was like in NY. Tonight I went to dinner in my winter jacket.

Anyway, I went fishing today — something I don't do often. Don't worry, I threw them all back in — I had to — I caught 5 baby sharks!!! Now those of you who know how much I love 'Shark Week' on Discovery can imagine how stoked I was. Those things are so cool.

I also caught a few fish that were "good eatin'" according to the hardcore fisherman dude next to me on the pier, but I tossed them back in anyway — they looked sad.

This brings me to a question I've pondered for a while now. Does anyone actually own a Chrysler Sebring convertible? I'm serious - I know they're the quintessential rental car, especially in sunny states - but does anyone actually own one? I've never met anyone who does. I'm just curious. If anyone does, please email a picture of yourself next to your convertible Sebring, your address, and t-shirt size — I'll send you a free BZ t-shirt.

In other news, I've got some NYC performances coming up. Caff&ecute; Vivaldi on Jan 31st is gonna be a blast. I'm trying out some new tunes and some new instrumentation as well as having Ryan Vaughn, AKA "The Octopus" play percussion on the show. It's gonna be great - NY/NJ'ers - better be there. Here's the link to the schedule. See you soon.
-B

12/26/07

The December Holiday blog… where the year is summed up in a few short paragraphs, I give you a brief glimpse into my plans for the new year, and then I give you all my sincere thanks and good wishes for 08.

Yet, I've tried to write this entry 3 or 4 times already and it just hasn't felt right. Maybe it's because so much happened this year and I just can't put it into words. Maybe it's because so much is happening in the new year that yesterday's news is just that – yesterday's news. Maybe I'm too busy worrying about the future to fully appreciate the past and present (I tend to do that a lot). I think a lot of people do these days. We've become a society of worriers. We walk the earth armed with our PDA's, Bluetooth headsets, and prescription medications for everything from heartburn, to restless leg syndrome.

So, if I could wish you all something special for the holidays, it's piece of mind – and to be able to fully appreciate what we have, everyday.

As for me, there's no need to recap the year, or talk about the future really – those who read this blog regularly already know the past and those who stick around will see what happens next.

I'd rather talk about…

THE A-TEAM… THE MOVIE!!!
Come on – don't act like you're not excited. Director John Singleton is gearing up to direct a feature adaptation of '80s TV show The A-Team. Pretty cool huh? I wonder if people will actually get shot in the film. Remember in the show they always had more firepower than you could imagine, but nobody ever got shot?

Let's see another shot of the coolest guy in a mohawk ever!

And while we're keeping it old school, I'd like to present an excellent list of Holiday gifts from my generation. I was born in the 80's – you know, back when New York City was dangerous and eating tuna was safe? Anyway – the 80's Christmas List.

How about:

The Etch A Sketch

There is no better way to say – "here's something to keep you quiet" than an Etch A Sketch. We all had one – our parents weren't stupid. It took 3hrs to write your first name on it. And god forbid you stepped too hard while you were walking over to show your parents – you'd have to start all over again.

Assorted Dolls and Action Figures

Cabbage Patch Kids :
Ugliest dolls ever – obviously made to make ugly children feel better about themselves.

Care Bears :

They were cute, cuddly, and obviously enjoyed an alternative lifestyle. Easily one of the 'gayest' toys of the 80's.

Smurfs :

It was never made quite clear how all the smurfs were related, if they were related, etc, etc. Most likely the earliest exposure to incest for most children.

He Man and Thundercats:

Two of my personal favorites. Small, sharp, easy to choke on parts. It's amazing any of us managed to survive. Also pretty gay.

And how many of you girls had this up on your walls at some point?

New Kids On The Block Poster

Do you guys remember…

Teddy Ruxpin

The first ever talking teddy bear. He used to tell stories and sing songs - remember? He was sold out of every toy store the first holiday season he was released to the public. My friend's parents got him a black-market version that I think used to swear at us in Spanish.

And finally, possibly the greatest toy ever…

The ViewMaster

I couldn't find anything sarcastic to say about the ViewMaster. I still have one and it's awesome. This thing could survive a nuclear blast. In fact, we should use it to store information. If we ever suffer global nuclear warfare and all of mankind is wiped off the face of the earth, billions of years from now aliens can come to our planet, find an old ViewMaster, and learn about our species.

Anyway, enough of that. This is my favorite time of the year – lots of family, friends, generally no business is done so everyone is free to hang, you get to go to cocktail parties and follow the caterers with the trays around, see people you haven't seen in a year – good times… good times!!! I hope you all enjoy this holiday season and I'll see you soon in the new year!!! All the best… Zanos, out.

-B

11/13/07

Byron's new CD Still in a Fight has arrived! BUY NOW!

11/4/07

Hello music lovers and welcome to another BZ Journal Entry!!! I have much to discuss.

First off, my childhood family dog just died today - I know - depressing - not a good way to start an entry. However, it's what's really on my mind so I guess I should get it out of the way first. For those of you who have never had a pet, it may seem stupid to be so upset - I understand. For those of you who have had many pets, it may be very understandable and you've probably gotten better at handling the grief over the years. As for me, this is my first and only pet. I got "Rusty" when I was 15yrs old - so I've been used to having him around for basically every important event in my life - needless to say, I'm really beat up over it. I haven't cried in probably 15 or so years so I really need a good one. I got a couple of tears out this afternoon but I couldn't commit to a "real cry." I guess I haven't done it in so long I forgot how. Maybe it will creep up on me at some point tomorrow. As for Rusty, I love you buddy.

Now on to happier news. I've recently become a "favorite" of BJ Barratt, New York City's music tastemaker!!!

She's been writing some great reviews and I'm her "Artist of The Month" for November AND December - Oh yeah - I get 2 months!!! That's how I do!!! You should check out her MySpace page and write-ups here: www.myspace.com/thebjspace

And finally, MY NEW RECORD STILL IN A FIGHT IS AVAILABLE THIS TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 13th!!!!! It will be available EXCLUSIVELY at www.AWARESTORE.com for the time being. Please visit and buy one or more. I've put a lot of effort into this record in the last year - time to let you all hear it. Furthermore, this is an album you're gonna want a physical CD for. It will soon be digitally available but the only way to truly get the piece of music, non-stop and whole, is to get it on CD. You'll see what I mean when you hear it. So please go get one immediately - don't wait, just go!!!!!

Also, I just got back from NACA Northeast last night - good times!!! I saw old friends, made new ones, pitched myself relentlessly and without shame for college bookings, drank a lot of beer… and scotch… and tequila, and also had the pleasure of almost cracking a rib, not to mention embarrassing myself while attempting to ride a mechanical bull.

ME RIDING

2.5 SECONDS LATER

The sad part is that the bull operator had it going at "Uncoordinated Infant" speed and I still slipped off. I watched "Urban Cowboy" when I got home though so I got some pointers from Johnny Travolta to help me out for next time.

BYRON’S PICKS OF THE WEEK:

This week, there's just one - my new CD!! - Go get it!!! Ok, maybe there's two - Halo 3 on XBox is ridiculous - I can't stop playing it. And it goes really well with my CD in the background. Just in case you're too lazy to scroll up the page, here's the link again - go get it! You won't be disappointed. www.awarestore.com

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10/15/07

Normally, I’d be writing this entry from the “Good Spirits” lounge at the Lancaster Host Resort – at least, that’s what I’ve done for the last 2 years attending this conference.  Oddly enough, I’m in ‘better spirits’ this time than ever before.  And why??  Because I discovered a “new” Lancaster this year.

Generally, once a year at NACA Mid Atlantic Conference we spend 4 days in Lancaster PA on a small strip of highway that smells like a horse’s ass – literally – it’s Amish country and there are horses everywhere.  The only dining choices in a 5 mile radius are fast food drive thru’s, a couple of diners, and place called Lou’s where literally EVERYHING on the menu is deep fried – including twinkies.  Now don’t get me wrong – I love a Quarter Pounder as much as the next guy – once every few months.  You eat like this for more than a day and you want to kill yourself.

Well, previously nobody had told me that Lancaster had a “Downtown” area – you could imagine my surprise when I found that this weekend there was an arts festival – the streets were lined with galleries – café’s were full of people drinking coffee and eating salads…  It was great – a beautiful little town.  At one point I stepped outside of a restaurant (really good by the way) and found myself on a small cobblestone street.  The sun was going down, there were happy couples walking around me, church bells in the distance – for a moment, Lancaster wasn’t so bad anymore.  As I stood there, a young guy was walking his dog.  He calls, “Come here girl” because the dog was wandering.  As they passed me, I happened to notice that the dog had the largest cojones I’d ever seen on a dog.  Don’t ask me why I looked at the dog’s ass - I just did.  This brought a question to mind.  Can you still call a dog “girl” if it has balls?  I pondered this question for the rest of the weekend.

Anyway, of course the conference went well.  The people at NACA are always great – from the students, to the volunteer staff, to the other artists I met.  I look forward to playing at many of your schools… especially now that the new record is about to be released.  That’s right, I said it!!  I’ll be doing a “soft release” in the first week or so of November.  I will make sure everyone is informed of the date

Since my last entry I’ve done a lot of “backstage” work, written a bunch of new material, played sidestage for Aerosmith (awesome!!!), and most memorable – I played an outdoor show where I was standing on an anthill.  I didn’t notice till the 3^rd or so song that I had ants in my pants – literally.  Elvis would have envied the hip gyrations performed on that day.

So that’s it for the moment – I’ll be back really soon.

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8/29/07

Only one more Jones Beach show remains - Aerosmith!!!!! I can't wait. They've been going sooooo well - I've been having a lot of fun. I'll be posting pics and maybe some live audio and/or video clips soon on the website or MySpace page. Also, I sang the National Anthem at the WPLJ vs. Channel 7 Morning News Team annual charity softball game last week. It's funny how the lyrics you've sang so many times in your life start to get fuzzy right before you have to sing them in a stadium full of people. But in the end, it went well. Here's a pic of myself and Gavin DeGraw at the game - he was playing right field for WPLJ.

Byron Zanos and Gavin DeGraw at the WPLJ vs. Channel 7 Charity Softball Game at Yogi Berra Stadium.

In fact, you can check out all the pics here.

Also, I'm glad to hear so many of you are looking forward to the new record - it arrives in October. If you're good, I may put it up for sale online in September. Actually, it's got nothing to do with how good you are - it has more to do with how good 'Discmakers' is at rushing my order. I guess we'll see.

And now for your reading pleasure…
Byron's Picks of the Week

Movies:
"Back to School" - arguably Rodney's best work. Beats the crap out of "Ladybugs" anyway. Hadn't seen it in a while so I picked it up at the FYE - damn it's funny.

TV:
MTV has been playing entire seasons of America's Next Top Model during the day. It's fun watching Tara go from "chubby Tyra" to "skinny Tyra" on a day to day basis. It's like watching Oprah in episodes 5 years apart.

Music:
Still can't get enough Amy Winehouse - she's got such a voice.

Misc. Items I've bought in the last week:

Toothbrush - anyone who hasn't tried the Oral-B Pulsar toothbrush yet hasn't really lived. I picked it up at Target for $4.99. This thing is awesome - it's got rubber bristles around it, and it vibrates - makes your mouth feel very fresh.

IPhone - I finally took the plunge. I need a device that can do phone, internet (wi-fi and through phone service), mail, calendar, check weather and traffic (in different cities at a glance), GPS Nav, among other things - all while on the road. The IPhone is it!!! Now I don't need to lug my laptop around with me. I heard so many bad things about this device over the last few months. DON'T BELIEVE IT!!! The thing is awesome!! All you busy-bodies - now you can take your emails with you when you're out. Music lovers - all your music in the palm of your hand. Web surfers/MySpace addicts - check the web at any time in real, full web pages. Porn hounds - now you can take your porn with you everywhere you go!!. It does it all. And… if god forbid… you drop it from more than 3 inches to the ground… you have a really expensive paperweight.

8/5/07

The greatest week of the year has just passed... Discovery Channel's Shark Week!!!!!  I've been glued to the TV for the last 168hrs.  Australian people are insane - free diving with Great Whites?  We all remember Steve Irwin - well unfortunately it seems nobody in Australia really learned their lesson.  Crazy Aussies.

Anyway, on a slightly more relevant note, I played sidestage for Steve Miller and The Doobie Brothers last week (second Jones Beach show of the summer) - went great!  Really looking forward to the rest of them, especially Aerosmith.  I'm also gonna be opening for America for the second time - this time at the Bergen PAC in Englewood NJ.  Here's a couple of pics from the last show:

Next:  The new record will be released in Oct.  We've had such a great time recording this thing - it's been a memorable experience.  I was just going through some pictures from the studio and found this.  This is what happens when a few, normally cool guys spend too much time together in a padded room with no windows, no sun, no fresh air, and no sleep.  We start to act like 14yr old girls on a sleepover.  Don't forget to wear your retainer.

Also - I've got a new beef.  I spent hours trying to get a stupid virus off my computer this week.  Who are these evil virus makers?  Who are these mean little trolls, hunched over, sitting in a small, dark room in front of a glowing screen for hours on end in order to create a program simply with the purpose of destroying everyone's work?  If I ever find one of you bastards it will be your last day on earth - I shit you not!

Byron's Picks of the Week:
TV: Shark Week reruns, Cash Cab, Survivorman, Man vs Wild - basically, anything on the Discovery Channel
Movies: Went to the movies (second time in like a decade) - Knocked Up - hilarious!!  300 on DVD.
Music: This week it's been: Rage Against the Machine, The Beatles, and Amy Winehouse

7/3/07

I’m writing to fill you in on what’s been going on. The last month feels like it’s gone by too fast – but with it came some new opportunities and the beginning of promotion for the upcoming new release.

This past weekend I did an in-store performance (Sat and Sun) at a Barnes and Noble in NJ promoting “somewhere in the middle.” It went quite well and I got to meet some great people. The week before, I played side-stage for Chicago at the Jones Beach Theater – that was pretty cool. In fact, that was just the beginning of several dates where we’ll be opening for some great acts at the Jones Beach Theater this summer. This summer we’ll be playing side-stage for:

7/28 - Steve Miller/Doobie Brothers
8/14 - Def Leppard/Foreigner/Styx
8/22 - Meat Loaf 
9/9 - Earth Wind & Fire/Taylor Hicks
9/12 - Aerosmith/Joan Jett

Also, I’ll be showcasing at this year’s Atlantis Music Festival Atlanta, GA

So basically, things are moving mighty fast these days – lots of meetings and events and rush hour traffic jams. Anyway, I’ve begun playing the new material at shows and it seems to be going quite well. The band is eager and ready to get out there but currently, the BZ team is still doing behind the scenes work so for the most part, the shows are still solo or duo.

Anyway, I’m currently teasing some of the tracks from the upcoming record on myspace.Log on to hear them at www.myspace.com/byronzanos .

Talk to you all soon,
Byron Zanos.

PS. On other topics:

1)It’s strange, but I feel bad for Paris Hilton these days and you should too...
2)The final episode of the Sopranos was genius – I’m not open to debating this point.
3)Michael Moore is not allowed to make a movie about American Healthcare when he looks like a 280 lb crème filled doughnut.

5/22/07

Some of you may already know this but this year, one of television's most watched shows, American Idol, decided to start a second Idol contest to go along with their usual deal. It's the first ever AMERICAN IDOL SONGWRITING COMPETITION - that's right boys and girls. Simon has been out there looking for America's next Idol Songwriter. So what Zanos? What's your point?

Well, do you guys recall a little song called "Secrets and Lies" off of my first record? It's my pleasure to announce that it was chosen as one of the Top 20 songs in the American Idol Songwriting Competition out of a whopping 25,000 entries!!! We won't know the results until tonight,  but either way, I consider the Top 20 itself to be a big victory for the Zanos team. I'm sorry I couldn't widely announce this earlier but we've pretty much been under gag order until the voting ended.

So, on to the next piece of business - THE NEW RECORD IS FINALLY DONE!!! Wait... before you get too excited. It won't be available for purchase just yet but I will be throwing some of the tracks on my MySpace page - www.myspace.com/byronzanos - so make sure to be checking it often cuz I'll be throwing em' up and taking em' down mighty quick. It's just to tease you all a bit. I will be telling you more about this record soon - just need a little more time. As for now, keep your eyes on the MySpace page.

Furthermore... the talented BZ Management team has come up with a few quotes for the up and coming release. What do you think?

Coming soon! Byron Zanos' new release - Still In A Fight:

So much rhythm John Ratzenberger can dance to it!

Best thing I've heard in a million years! -- The Geico Caveman

More entertaining than Paris Hilton's incarceration!

So hot it could increase global warming! -- Al Gore

So smooth, I actually couldn't find anything offensive about it! -- The Reverend Al Sharpton

Sexier than a photo of Britney Spears wearing no panties!

5/16/07

Here are this week’s BYRON ZANOS NEW RULES!!!

Health Food Causes High Blood Pressure.
New Rule: Apples are not allowed to cost $5 each!!! I don’t care how organic they are. That means you didn’t have to pay for pesticides – should be cheaper if anything. Anyway what good is eating organic gonna do when you get chest pains every time the checkout lady charges you $15 for orange juice?

Sopranos Sucking!!

New Rule: Yeah, I said it!! This season has better turn it around and I mean quick! People are getting killed now for absolutely no reason – it’s like they ran out of time to set up plots so all of a sudden, an argument turns into a murder. Come on!! And if Tony doesn’t sleep with his doctor by the end of this thing I’m gonna flip out. Everyone’s been watching the sexual tension between them for years – give us all some release!! Furthermore, I liked AJ better when he was fat and white.

Harass The Heiress??

New Rule: Leave the skinny billionaire heiresses alone dammit!! So what? She was a little drunk. In fact, leave all the celebs alone!! If they can’t get away with driving drunk, then what’s the point of being famous. With all the murder, theft, and drug trafficking in Los Angeles, this is what the LAPD cops are wasting their time with? Well, at least it keeps them from their other favorite pastime – beating the shit out of minorities.

4/9/07

Oh my, could it be??  Yes it is!!

ANOTHER BYRON ZANOS JOURNAL ENTRY!!!

How exciting for you J??  Anyway, the rumors are true:

Yes, I’m dating Jessica Alba and she is carrying our love child.  Actually, that’s a slight exaggeration – she’s not really pregnant.  To be totally honest, we’re not really seriously dating – it’s very casual.  Ok, so we’re not dating at all – we’re just friends… Well acquaintances of sorts.  The truth is I got to meet her… or saw her rather… on TV.  Well actually it wasn’t TV, it was HBO.  What the hell does that mean anyway – dumbest slogan ever.

So, on to some updates!!

The new record is complete (at least the recording aspect).  We are now in the mixing phase which will be shortly followed by the mastering phase which will then be followed by the heavy drinking phase.  So far, the best title I’ve come up with is:

“Budget?  What Budget?”.  It’s either gonna be that or “I haven’t seen daylight in months, I’ve lost weight, developed a bad case of hemorrhoids, need a chiropractor, and suddenly

smell cheese everywhere I go.”  That one might be a bit long. 

But seriously, I think I’ve de-volved back into ape form.  The other day I found myself astounded and amazed at how my lighter works.  Needless to say, I’m a bit tired. 

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The good news is that it sounds kick ass!!  Definitely something to be proud of.  The new record is great from beginning to end.  I hope you will all agree.  I’ll be posting a couple tunes up on my MySpace in the next few weeks so keep a look out. 

Until then, here are Byron’s Picks of the Week:

TV:  I’ve become addicted to the Discovery channel.  So many great shows but one tops them all – “How It’s Made”.  Basically they show the manufacturing process of random everyday items.  It’s narrated by a very uninteresting guy and

backed by really bad music.  Yet for some reason, I can’t stop watching.

Movies:  “Borat” is out on DVD.  If you haven’t seen that yet, you’ve got to rent it.  I saw “300” last week.  Being of Greek descent, it was almost required that I see it.  Very exciting, Greeks rule, don’t mess with us, etc etc.  However, I think it could have done with some better writing.  I don’t know, call me old fashioned but I still think a film

needs a plot in order for it to really grab my attention.  Maybe I’m crazy – I dunno.

Music:  Didn’t I call it a few months ago?  Mika is the new hotness – told you so.  What else?  To be totally honest, the only music I’ve heard in months has been my own so I guess you guys are on your own for this one.

I’ll talk to you all again soon.  Hope you had a great Holiday Weekend!!

1/30/07
NEW RULE: C-OLD Cash
If you look like this:

You have no business winning the 250 Million Dollar Lotto.  I'm surprised the shock alone didn't kill them.  Don't get me wrong -- I love old people.  I've got a few of my own -- a lot of fun around the holidays -- but there are three things they should not be allowed to do:
1) drive
2) make-out in public
3) win the lotto

1/25/07

We're working hard on the record boys and girls - trying to get this thing done.  I’m really excited about it and many of you have expressed your enthusiasm (and impatience) as well.  I'm gonna stop giving potential release dates cause they're never right.  So lets just say – soon.

Also, I just got a review on the last record somewhere in the middle in Taylor Guitar’s seasonal magazine “Wood and Steel.”  This is something I’m particularly proud of as a huge Taylor fan and devout user of their products.  Check out the review.

Other than that, lets go over the Byron Zanos “Picks of the Week.”

TV: Showtime’s series The L Word has started up again.  If you haven’t been watching, start.  It’s got lesbians, sex, and great drama – can’t go wrong!!

Film: Recently rented a few motion pictures from the video store.  The Exorcism of Emily Rose is total crap – don’t bother.  The same goes for Lady in the Water which really upset me because I’ve been such a huge M. Night fan ever since Sixth Sense.  The Illusionist was a great movie – two thumbs up.  Ed Norton is the man.

Music: Check out Mika (www.mikasounds.com) Think Freddie Mercury only gayer.  His single “Grace Kelley” is pretty damn catchy though – makes me feel like dancing around my room in tights and touching myself.  Scary thought. lol…

 And speaking of lol -- New Rule:  Laugh Out Liar!!

People need to stop typing "lol" after every sentence.  You're not “laughing out loud”, you're not even giggling - and if you are laughing you're an idiot because it wasn't that funny.  The ByronZanos.com team recommends using the “smiley face” created with grammatical characters in place of “lol” – See example 1A.

Example 1A :       Smiley Face   :)

1/1/07

Hey kids - hope you had a Happy Chanukah/Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year!!  Looking forward to the new record - it's coming smashingly - it's also taking forever to finish but they say good things take time.  Well, it's now 2007 and the Holiday season is officially over.  Time for everyone to go back to work/school.  That first week is the worst - the transition is painful and it seems like everything is pissing me off - and when I'm bothered, I complain about random things that really don't matter but that I find extremely annoying.  In fact, I've always used this journal to vent - it just needed a little bit of structure.

Sooo...  A new addition to the BZ Journal - Byron Zanos "New Rules."  I'll be following the Bill Maher "New Rules" format.  Every now and then, I'll post a "New Rule" - sometimes more than one.  So - what's bothering me today?

BYRON ZANOS "New Rules"

New Rule:  Use MySpace Responsibly.

People - stop putting pictures on your MySpace page!!  Use the picture section - that's what it's there for!  I don't care what car you drive so you don't need 5 pictures of it on your page.  While you're at it, your boyfriend is really ugly - he doesn't need to be up there either.  I also don't have time to watch a 500 picture slide show!!  If it takes more than 20minutes to load your page you may want to consider cutting it down a bit.

New Rule:  Kwanzaa is an energy drink!

I refuse to acknowlege Kwanzaa as a real holiday.   I mean common...  Does anyone even know what it is?  It just appeared out of nowhere about 10yrs ago - it's not a real holiday - end of story!!  Give it up already!  If you can just invent a Winter holiday then I'm inventing my own.  It's called Byronukah - it will be the only Holiday where strange family members who are barely related to you, are not allowed to show up at your door, pretend they know you and eat all your food.

New Rule:  Mass Attack.

Ok - the mass text messages have to stop.  Now, yes - I use them too - in fact I practically invented them, but common...  At this point, a mass "Happy New Year" message basically means, "Hi.  You're not important enough to call - but just in case I ever need you for anything, I'll wish you a Happy New Year just so you think I'm a nice person."

New Rule:  Eggnog Sucks.

That pretty much sums it up.  Eggnog really sucks.  If I want a foamy, milky, strange tasting, thick liquid in my mouth I'll visit my local gay bathhouse.  (Ok, I know that one was a little nasty but it's the best way to describe how much I hate eggnog.)

Stay Warm,
-B

10.29.06

Just yesterday I was, once again, sitting at the “Good Spirits” lounge at the Lancaster Host resort in Lancaster PA.  Exactly one year ago I was in the same spot writing a journal entry at my first NACA conference. They renovated the rooms since then so that was a nice surprise. It did, however, still smell like horse shit outside – ahh, the sweet smell of Amish county.

I really love the NACA organization and the people I meet here. It’s always a good time. Now… yes, the rumors are true – we are recording something new!! Hey, that rhymes. Anyway, so far I’m quite proud of the direction it’s going in. There are still some pending questions about how many tracks and album structure but it appears that it could be done by the end of the year. There’s a good chance that you’ll be able to use my new record as a stocking stuffer this holiday season. I’m not gonna rush though. I’m really proud of these tracks – so they have to be perfect! So that’s that.

I just got home - Midnight on Sunday (or technically Monday) - I’ve been selling my soul at the conference during the day, drinking through the nights, and eating crap for the last 4 days. I’m very very tired and my body isn’t talking to me right now. My liver is especially angry – so I’m going to drink a coffee, one of those huge bottles of Gatorade and go back to the studio to continue working. I’ll sleep when my body forgives me – I wouldn’t want us to go to bed angry.  -B

10.20.06

Hello my friends!!

I’ve been driving for 4 hours and I’m “wicked” tired. Clearly, you can probably tell I was in MA.

I played in Boston, hung out there a few days, saw some friends, and yelled at people for using the word “wicked”.

Then I went to Newport, RI and played for Salve Regina University. My hat is off to you guys at SRV – great artist treatment – really nice people – well promoted show. You are an example that other schools and Student Activities boards should follow – great job!

I hope to be back soon because I really liked Newport. I checked out the Marble House and other mansions, and I found and took a tour of a hotel which will definitely be my next romantic getaway destination (but first I need someone good to getaway with). Really romantic, sexy villas with an indoor/outdoor private, enclosed deck and 6 person Jacuzzi tub and sauna – all overlooking the ocean. It was nice.

That night, I had a few drinks and hung out with people at some bar on Thames St. (I think that’s the spelling). The worst band on the planet was playing there and I couldn’t take anymore so I left. And today I drove south, stopped in Mystic CT for lobster sandwiches – ridiculously good, then continued back home to NJ where I’m currently sitting in the bathtub, leaning over the side and writing this journal entry on my laptop. Seriously.

No shit – I do a lot of work in the bathtub. It’s relaxing – and you can’t get out – that’s the best part. So you can’t walk around, or go get something to eat, or do anything that hyperactive people with ADD do to avoid working.

You should try it – you’ll thank me. Just don’t get the computer wet. -B

8.21.06

Breaking News!!!  We are revamping and subsequently renaming the BZ Street Team.  It came to my attention that the most helpful and most loyal fans time and time again, happen to be ex-girlfriends.  They’re always at my shows, always bringing new people, and always making me uncomfortable enough to watch what I say on stage – not to mention the fact that they’ve contributed greatly to my lyrical content.  In fact, ex-girlfriends are one of the largest contributing forces in music altogether.  Therefore, in continuing celebration of ex-girlfriends everywhere, the new Byron Zanos Street Team will be known as – The Ex-Girlfriends.  By the way - men, you can join too.  If you’re a real man and comfortable with your sexuality, you should have no problem being referred to as an Ex-Girlfriend.  New instructions and benefits for joining are now posted on the Street Team page. -- Byron

8.14.06

Hello again.  Well, it seems that air travel will be getting even harder to bear from now on.  No shampoo on your carry-on luggage.  I guess I won't be able to rinse and repeat mid-flight anymore.  That's unfortunate.

Anyway, recent updates:  I've been selected to showcase at MEANY Fest and the Dewey Beach Music Festival.  Both are coming up soon so check back for confirmed times and dates.

American Idol tryouts for the NY Metro area were held this weekend at the Continental Airlines Arena in NJ.  Tens of thousands of people stood on line for a chance to be verbally abused by Simon Cowell on national television.  I REALLY REALLY wanted to go but thanks to the hold-ups in air travel, I had to shampoo my hair at home so I couldn't make it.  I did, however, manage to get out to a show Saturday night..  I went to see Columbia recording artist Ari Hest at a pretty intimate show at Mexicali Blues in Teaneck NJ.  Ari and I went to high school together so I've known him a while.  For those of you who haven't checked him out, I suggest you do.  The show was opened up by Robert Matarazzo, not someone I know personally, but a very hard working indie musician who I've seen perform a number of times - be sure to check him out too.  Till next time kids, keep your liquids at home. -Byron

7.27.06

What's up kids?  I'd like to thank you all for attending Tuesday's show at Arlene's.  I wasn't feeling that hot, but in the words of Freddie Mercury, "Now bend over and take it like a man!"  No, no...that's the wrong Freddie Mercury quote.  "The show must go on."  After the gig I went home and passed out.  I'm not sure why I felt so lousy; probably 'cause I didn't eat enough that day.  On the other hand, it may have had something to do with the number of ex-girlfriends present at the show.  It was just too many -- and they were meeting each other -- and talking -- and having fun.  It was scary.  The BZ management is considering re-naming the street team The Ex-Girlfriends.  I'm not so sure about that. -- Byron

7.24.06

Music Will Save the Middle East
(A Little Political Satire from Singer/Songwriter Byron Zanos)

Anyone who hasn't been living in a cave for the last week or so has heard about the current turmoil in the Middle East.  Generally, as a singer/songwriter, I abstain from voicing my political opinions to the public.  In this case, however, a conversation with my manager led to a rather simple understanding of the Middle East and its inhabitants.  It all started when he made a comment about man's inhumanity to man.  It somehow reminded me of that old saying about "idle